Sunday, December 11, 2011

"How's married life?"

  Since I got married about a month ago, the question I've heard the most from anyone I've encountered has been, "How's married life?" To silence this question and to satisfy those who ask it, I'm writing now to give this answer: more wonderful than I could ever have imagined.

  Marriage is everything and nothing like I imagined it would be. I assumed that things would basically stay the same, but that we would be more commited. True, some things have stayed and will stay the same; after all, we are the same people who fell in love with each other what seems like forever ago. Our personalities are the same, our mannerisms are the same, and in a large way, our way of relating to each other is the same. But now there is something there that wasn't before, like an entity all its own. It's as though we've cemented our souls together. We fully belong to each other now, and that is such a beautiful feeling.

  Another false assumption I had made about marriage is that it would somehow separate me from everything I am, everything in my life; my friends, my family, my hobbies, and essentially my freedom. It has not done that at all. My marriage feels like a deep and wonderful friendship, not a cage. The only freedom I truly lack is the freedom to be with someone other than Jacob, and that is not a freedom I want. I still have relationships with my friends and family (married and single alike). I am still my own person.

  Marriage has done wonderful things for Jacob and I. We have both realized that no matter how frustrated we are in a given situation, this is for the long haul, and we have to learn to work our frustrations out. This has done wonders for the way we communicate with one another. His role in my life has also changed. He is now not only someone I have strong feelings for; he is a lover, a friend, and now a member of my family. I have noticed we have both tried eagerly to put each other first (in most situations) and to be good spouses to each other. He is my  husband. I am his wife. In his words, "I'm young, and I'm not a perfect husband, but I'm trying." That is more important than just about anything.

  I know that my happy, gushy feelings about my marriage can largely be attributed to being a newlywed. But I know for sure that I am married to the man I am going to love until my heart stops beating, and I so look forward to all the years I'll have with him until then.

  Sincerely, Mrs. Beam =)
  (Yes, that was necessary...hehe!)